


The One with the Drunken Mountie (and Wolf)

by amycooper



Category: due South
Genre: Drunkenness, Fluff and Humor, Gen, drugged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 04:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11706744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amycooper/pseuds/amycooper
Summary: Sometime after Fraser returns to Chicago (post-CotW) he licks something he shouldn't have.





	The One with the Drunken Mountie (and Wolf)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JackyMedan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackyMedan/gifts).



"Hey, Vecchio? It's me, Kowalski." Ray says. He checks quickly behind him, then refocuses on the cell phone. "Listen. Um. I need your help. No, not work. I mean, not directly, anyways. It's personal." 

There was a pause as he listens to the other Ray talk. Then he gives Vecchio the address. He looks behind him again before adding, "Come quickly. I'll explain everything when you get here." Ray hangs and up heads out of the warehouse to wait.

Some time later, Ray pulls up in his newest green Rivieras and parks in front of an old warehouse. It isn't in the best part of town, but he's been in worse. As he gets out he wonders what his partners got themselves into. They were checking out a lead on the murder case while he talked to the family, to try and see if the victim had any known problems in her life that could have led to her death. He approaches Kowalski, who's leaning against the metal door. Kowalski straightens himself up as Ray approaches. 

"Vecchio, we've got ourselves in a bit of a pickle." 

"A pickle" 

"Yeah, a pickle." Kowalski says. "So, you know how Fraser does that thing? You know, that thing?" 

"That thing?" Vecchio repeats. "Fraser does a lot of things, many of which I don’t understand. Can you tell me which particular thing we’re discussing now?" 

"The thing where he tastes everything." 

"Ah, yeah. That thing." Both Rays stick their tongues out a make faces of disgust. "So, what. He taste somethin' funny?" 

"Yeah, you could say that. They drugged him," Kowalski explains. 

Ray looks alarmed. "Shouldn't we call an ambulance?" 

"No, Fraser says he'll be fine, but..." Kowalski opens the door and immediately the strains of “Can’t get offa my Horse” fills the air. Fraser’s normally near perfect voice is just off key though and he’s speech is more than a little slurred. Everytime he says “saddle” Dief howls.

Kowalski closes the door after a few lines. “I think Dief licked some too.”

Vecchio groans rubs a hand across his face. He’s not sure whether to laugh or cry. “I never thought I’d live to see Benny get drunk.”

“Well, technically Benny’s not drunk,” Kowalski say. “He’s just high.”

“Oh, well that’s much better,” Vecchio says. “We need to get him home. Dief too.”

“Yeah, but we got one more problem,” Kowalski says.

“That thing at the consulate tonight,” Vecchio groans. “You know what, Fraser’s got how many sick days at this point? He can be sick. I’m calling him out.” 

“The Iron Lady won’t like that,” Kowalski says.

“Yeah, well, she’s gonna have to,” Vecchio replies as he pulls his phone out then pauses before calling. “Get the GTO ready for the drunks.”

“Hey, I was thinking they’d be more comfortable in the Riviera,” Kowalski says, casually. Too casually. In a very carefully construed casualness.

Vecchio’s eyes narrow. He slowly lowers the phone, suddenly realizing why Kowalski has called him over without bothering to explain the situation until he arrived. “No, uh-uh. No way. Not my Riv.”

As the two Rays begin to argue the door slowly opens and Fraser’s head sticks out.

“Hello. Um...Deif’s thrown up.” Fraser’s face scrunches up. “He has not appreciation of classical music.”

In the end, they split the two up. Kowalski takes Dief, banking on the idea that there’s nothing left in the wolf’s stomach while Vecchio takes Fraser, since he can at least barf in a bag, hopefully.

By some miracle, neither car’s been defiled by the time they pull up to Fraser’s new apartment, but Dief won’t get out of the car, so Kowalski has to carry him and Fraser’s sang the whole way so Vecchio didn’t get to call the consulate.

Fortunately Fraser’s new apartment’s on the second floor so they don’t have far to go. It’s small and sparse, but better maintained than his last one. Still, one flight’s enough when you’re carrying a half wolf or wrestling with a drunken Canadian who suddenly thinks it’s a good idea to clean up the graffiti outside. Once they’re finally up, both Ray’s are out of breath but at least Fraser’s already forgotten about his do-good task he’s assigned himself. Ray puts Dief down on the rug and moves to help Vecchio.

“You know I love you, Ray,” Fraser says to Vecchio suddenly.

“Yeah, yeah, drunks love everyone.” Vecchio says. 

“No, I mean this,” Fraser frowns. “It.”

Then Fraser turns to Kowalski as he takes Fraser’s other arm. “I love you too, Ray.”

“And I love you, Fraser,” Kowalski says as he and the other Ray lead Fraser to his bedroom. 

Fraser turns back to Vecchio and looks at him pointedly...or as pointedly as a drunk can. “Ray said he loved me.”

“Yeah? And?” 

“And I said I loved you to you too and did you say anything to me?”

Kowalski smirks as they lower Fraser into the bed. “Yeah, Vecchio, that was kind of cold, man.”

Vecchio tries to scowl, but he’s grinning too hard. “Alright, fine. Ya got me. I love you too, Benny.” Vecchio says as he pulls the covers over Fraser. He turns back to Kowalski. “This must be why he doesn’t drink.”

“Yeah, not very dignified.”

“Talks about emotions and stuff.”

“At least he’s not crying,” Kowalski shrugs.

From behind them, Dief begin to snore.

“I love Dief too,” Fraser says.

“Yeah well, we all love Dief.” Vecchio said.

“What’s not to love? He’s soft, he’s furry, he’ll steal all your donuts.”

“Shed in your car, track down any perp, take down a bad guy.” 

“He’s a good wolf,” Fraser slurs. “ ‘S got horrible gas though.”

The two Rays have settled on each side of Fraser’s bed. “Why don’t you sleep this off, Fraser? Vecchio’s gonna call out for you.” Kowalski says. Fraser’s eyes are already half closed.

“The guy’s got a good idea for once,” Vecchio says.

“Mmm…” Fraser nods and mumbles. “Glad I moved back to Chicago.”

“So are we, Fraser, so are we.”

**Author's Note:**

> I Can't Get Offa My Horse was performed (and written?) by The Korn Kobblers in 1947 and should be instantly recognizable to most dS fans.


End file.
